Monday, March 5, 2012

Checking in

I have a desk full of stacks (you know the kind) but thought I'd pop in with an update while I procrastinate, er, decide which one to tackle next.

First, I am so glad to see the support for the vacation Sarah and her family are taking in a few weeks. When our third baby was diagnosed with a deadlier form of the same disease Sarah's DS has, folks began helping in a variety of ways, including sending a little money for expenses. My husband had just lost his job, and while he was try to get a new business started, he was also needed at home for our other two children (etc., etc., etc.) while I tended primarily to our baby's needs as a mama and nurse. It was survival mode, which is what Sarah's been in for a lotta years.

Two days after the service for our beautiful baby, my husband and I took our other two children (11 & 8) on a rare getaway to a fun-filled destination highly recommended by many. We had plenty of bills that coulda/woulda gobbled up the money folks had generously sent our way, but WE knew after the grueling previous months that in order to get ourselves back into some semblance of a routine, we needed our children to experience a few days of joy and see that life was still good. My mother-in-law, several states away, was aghast that we would take them for 'fun' instead of making them continue their routine with school. In my nicest DIL tone, I explained that she had no clue what fortitude it takes to watch your child/sibling die. They were truly incredible.

Sarah has endured this same fortitude for years, and she knows what she's doing - she's providing an irreplaceable memory for her son and the family. While the focus isn't on the borrowed time they have with their amazing son, decision-making and second-guessing with respect to virtually all issues, medical and otherwise, never stops. I am proud of Sarah for being willing and able to put 'life' into perspective and full of gratitude that (most of) you are cheering her on.

On our bankruptcy proceedings, we are still proceeding. Nothing in our case is easy, but we're used to that. I will update more when I know more. I will say that I am increasingly confident that the reason none of my other attempts to straighten us out financially worked is that for US, bankruptcy was the best solution.

On a positive note (because I'm an optimist!):
1. We have saved spare dollars and all change for two months now! Our only entertainment has come in the form of two small burgers and a regular order of fries at the new Five Guys Burgers 30 miles way while we were on business. The entertainment was people-watching and figuring out how to get our tap water from a fancy machine.
2. When the repairman opened the front of our ailing dryer, there was about $3 in change in the midst of the lint! That wasn't the problem, but it was sure was a nice, unexpected discovery.
3. We have made a bee payment (cash!) for the two beehives we're starting with and found all the posts and miscellaneous wood necessary for the stand thru our local Freecycle group! If you've never heard of Freecycle, check it out - it's a fantastic way to unload what someone else needs. The rest of the beekeeping supplies will be purchased over the next few weeks.
4. This year we were due a tax REFUND for a change! We certainly could have used it, since we're fast approaching the summer months of no paycheck, but it's been earmarked for the 2012 estimated taxes. That'll help with those.
5. Congratulations on the arrival of Baby Abe in the 'family!' He's a doll.

Back to those stacks. Yippee!



  1. Jenny, I don't think people realize how hard it is to lose a child or how hard it is on the siblings. Also the medical debt that comes with a sickness and then a funeral on top of that. I spent 24 years trying to pay off Franka's hospital bills we were always behind. No one will ever be able to calculate the debt traps caused by that one event. Now am I going to continue to trap myself. No but I know that is where the viscous cycle started.

  2. We can feel the love Sarah has for her family and strengthening the ties that bind them together is always money well spent. I'm so glad you've had each other for support through thick and thin. It hasn't been easy for either of you.

  3. Life is about a heck of a lot more than money, and sometimes it's hard for others to see exactly where you're coming from. They've never lived your life or experienced the same emotions you have. Sometimes you just know best what needs to be done for your own family.