Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Hubby made the call

So we sat down last night to discuss the beach trip invitation. I had already decided that I wanted to skip it. But my husband, who hasn't been to the beach in years, wanted to go. I mean he really wanted to go. He had already checked to see if he could take a vacation day from work so that we could stay two nights. I let him talk and I realized he desperately needs a couple of days away from the rat race and doing nothing but watching waves crash.

We talked about the finances and I pulled out receipts and found that I'm under budget on groceries for this month. Also, it's been a mild spring, meaning the A/C bills haven't started up yet. Looking ahead, July will see a major drop in gasoline use while school is out and no traveling is planned. In short, we saw some room to do this without adding to our debt.

I realize that for a lot of years, we have been making decisions based on the shadow of our son's life-threatening disease. We've made poor financial choices because we've been so focused on living in the moment - not knowing if it would be the last one we'd have. We're accepting responsibility for those choices now - and we're paying the price in the form of crushing debt brought on by enormous medical expenses and a live-for-now attitude. The difference this time is that we are truly thinking it through.

I think that's progress, even if it slows our payoff a bit. So I deferred to my husband and we're going to go. It was a tough call, but we're doing it without regrets. Is it the right decision? I don't know. But we made the decision together with eyes wide open.

Sarah

12 comments:

  1. I am glad. We too made many bad decisions after we had a child pass away from birth defects. I paid for those decisions for years. I also know after our youngest was in a coma for a week we let her run us ragged financially for about a year because we were so happy she survived we would have bought her the Moon if we could have financed it. Been there. But now you are looking at this situation together like adults. It was this younger daughter that really taught me I had the power to get out of debt. She came home a and wanted to go to France with her French class. Like sure why not. My husband said yes. We both looked at each other like we were nuts. Where would we get that kind of money? We were hopelessly in debt. We did not have a CC we could put it on. So I told D that she could go but we would pay cash for the trip or she was not going. Every time something needless was asked for I would say this is less money for your trip. Well in 10 months we saved over $6000.00. After I did that I realized I could do it again. I could say no to the kids, I could insist on a budget. I could save for a down payment on a vehicle. It could be done. Have a great time at the beach!

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  2. Thanks, Kim. This helps a lot coming from you. Amazing testimony on your daughter's trip to France! Once again, I'm so thankful I'm not alone in this journey.

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  3. It's showing great financial maturity that you have decided to do this and not increase you debt. It would be hard to pass it up and easy to pay for it with credit. This shows that you guys know what you need (a vacation!) and that you figured out a way to pay for it with out hurting your finances. Everyone needs a break and no one can fault you for that. You still have to live this life. Make a decision, stand by it and do what you need to do! And for goodness sake ENJOY the beach!!! :) Hugs!

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  4. Congrats on all things. Well done. Now if I can get my BF on the same page!

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  5. I can't agree more with your decision here. Taking a vacation and a break is so important but far too many people undervalue taking a step back from things and just relaxing once in a while. It isn't lazy, it isn't wasteful, it isn't wrong... it is necessary for your well being.

    So go and relax for a few days and just enjoy it!

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  6. Yayyy! Enjoy your trip, have a wonderful time and relax :)

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  7. Even though I was one of the ones who said "don't go" I am with you on this one. Your thoughtful and thought-provoking post shows how deeply you've thought this through (that's a lot of "thoughts"!)Enjoy, and I hope your husband really gets to unwind - it will be worth it plus you'll be creating great family memories - you can't put a price on that!

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  8. I think it's a good decision, take the time to enjoy yourself and no guilt!

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  9. And by doing it that way I believe you made the right decision. Enjoy it.

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  10. I am glad you are at peace with your decision.

    We have also let our son's health issues dictate certain decisions....good and bad. We overspent after our daughters died....letting our emotions dictate those decisions.

    At the end of the day...we are all just doing the best we can. Just some days we do better than others!

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  11. Good for you! I think it's good to get away, and you're doing it responsibly. You have to allow for rest and rejuvenation or debt fatigue will get you for sure.

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  12. If you talked about it and can 'find' the money... than go for it! brakes aren't a bad thing they recharge you and refocus you on why you want to get out of this whole!

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